In Her Own Words: Durham Tech mother of four finds healing in education

 

Charmaine Grafton was going through a difficult divorce when the second shoe dropped – she lost her job.
 

Grafton knew she wanted to enroll at Durham Tech, and she got the bad news three weeks after starting college classes.
 

“I felt broken,” Grafton said. “I was going through a divorce, starting back to school, caring for my children, and then laid off.”
 

Grafton explored every possible avenue to ensure she didn’t have to drop out of school.
 

“I lost my livelihood, but God made a way,” Grafton said. “I received a six-month severance package and received grants, loans, a work-study position, and a scholarship from the Durham Tech Foundation to make it work.”
 

Still dealing with the end of her marriage, Grafton turned to books for encouragement.
 

“I had heard nothing but negativity for so many years,” Grafton said. “I had to seek out positive encouragement wherever I could, and for me that was in books.”
 

Grafton said she gained strength through self-help books and was able to apply what she learned to balancing motherhood, full-time classes, and the emotional turmoil of a divorce.
 

“A lot of people have doubted me along the way and questioned if I could handle a full-time workload and be a mom,” Grafton said. “They thought it was too much, but I wanted to show people that you can do whatever it is you set your mind to.”
 

In addition to a full-time course load, Grafton works part time in the library as a work-study student.
 

“Charmaine is very talented and extremely hardworking,” said Julie Humphrey, Director of the Durham Tech Library. “She is so kind, caring, and compassionate, which are all traits that will help her excel in her future profession. I really admire the way she has balanced school, work, and family commitments.”
 

One year after enrolling at Durham Tech and landing on solid ground, Grafton wanted to use her experience to help others the same way books helped her.
 

In the fall of 2018, Grafton self-published You Win: A Simple Guide to Overcome Devastation and Walk Into Your Destiny. The book details Grafton’s experiences and explains how she picked herself up and moved forward.
 

“Writing the book really helped with the healing process,” Grafton said. “It gave me an opportunity to get everything out and put it on paper.”
 

Grafton is preparing to graduate in December 2018 with an associate in arts degree before transferring to either NC State or the University of North Carolina with a goal of earning a bachelor's in psychology. Her long-term plan is to become a counselor and open a Women’s Resource Center in Durham to help women going through similar circumstances.
 

“It’s never too late,” Grafton said of her advice to future students. “Don’t give up, and don’t let anyone discourage you from doing what you want to do.”
 

Grafton said she’s grateful for the pathway Durham Tech helped her pave.
 

“Durham Tech gave me an opportunity to be an inspiration to my children,” Grafton said. “I want them to do as I say and do what I do. Two years ago, I’d talk to them about going to college, but I wasn’t going myself. Now I’m showing them. I want the same thing for myself that I want for them.”